Digital memory

I wondered recently how likely it is that our kids are going to be able to read these blog posts when they're our age.  Will there be some kind of limit imposed on how long the companies will keep the data?  It would be pretty amazing if Lilie could pull up the blog and read all about her young self years from now.  Who doesn't like hearing about how they behaved when they were a baby?

Lilie doesn't like to go to bed.  Some nights aren't bad, but when we do have a bad one, it's kind of epic.  Tonight was a good example.  She would do *anything* to keep us in the room.  We forgot to pray.  She needed to tinkle.  She was hungry - again.  We've finally figured out that we always end up in the same spot, no matter what we do: we eventually have to say 'goodnight', and then listen to her holler for a while.  Maybe a long while...

I've taken the attitude that the screaming and crying is inevitable, so I tend to go by the checklist: brush hair, brush teeth, read a book, tell a story, sing a song, get a stuffed animal friend, pray and goodnight.  That's the contract, and if we've done it all, there is no room for 'just one more thing'.  After that, all I do is usher Lilie back into bed, tuck her in, tell her 'goodnight', and then walk away.  On some nights we repeat that process many, many times.

The hollering and crying was particularly bad tonight.  Lilie has become a virtuoso on my heart strings, crying and screaming some incredibly poignant statements:  "I want more friends!  I want more friends!" (Of course, if we get more friends, she'll scream about something else...).  Tonight she busted out "You didn't listen to me!  You didn't listen to me!".  Seriously?!  She's three.

When the dust finally settled, Katie and I checked on her.  She was peacefully asleep.  I wondered out loud if Lilie knew how much it hurt my heart to hear her crying.  That's when I remembered about the blog, and the off chance that Lilie will read it some day.

If you get here, daughter, I hope you don't recall these nights.  If you do, I hope time has granted you perspective.  If time hasn't given it to you yet, then surely children of your own will do it.  We do love you, and it tears us up when we listen to you crying, but you need your rest.  Parenting is hard!