I'm starting to wonder if the person who coined the title "Terrible Twos" was able to stick it out long enough to experience the "Horrible Almost Fours" (HAFs). It is like some sort of terrible out-of-control monster has sunk its claws into our sweet little babyface and takes over her reins at the drop of a hat. Lately, it seems like one minute she can be just fine, her perfectly adorable and reasonably polite self and then BAM! the lights start to flicker and the ominous music begins to play. Next thing I know, I am in an all-out battle to keep my cool with this stomping, screaming, sobbing little HAF creature in front of me.
This evening at the store, I experienced the worst "episode" I've ever had with her/it. I was standing in an aisle trying to find what I needed when Lilie asked me if she could have some of the candy that was displayed on the other side of the aisle (who puts candy in the soup aisle, I want to know). I explained that we were not there for candy and would not be buying any today.
*flicker, flicker* She began to whine and beg.
I gave up on the soup I needed and began to quickly plan an exit strategy. I started walking away with the cart, hoping she would follow and forget about the stinking candy. She planted her feet firmly and the whining got louder and louder. I turned back and instructed her to come with me. Her reaction was to grab whatever she could from the shelf in front of her and act like she was going to throw it on the floor.
*DooDooDooDoo*
I tried to pick her up and put her in my cart to contain what I knew was coming. However, I was no match for the whole "arch your back/ flail your legs/and attempt to rip off your mother's clothing" trick. I put her back down and simply walked away. (Don't call DCFS on me, I made sure she was never too far away).
*DOOODOODOODOO*
I quickly maneuvered through the store followed by this tremendous shrieking, grabbing only one more essential item. When she couldn't stop me/get my attention that way, she got in front of my shopping cart and tried to push me back while I attempted to get us to the checkout. Clearly that didn't work out so well for her (although I have to say she put up a good fight) so she began reaching in the cart and pulling out items and flinging them onto the floor. Mind you she was still screaming at the top of her lungs so we were attracting a lot of attention. A couple of moms gave me encouraging smiles and one commented something about experiencing something similar with her child but I couldn't hear her. Partly because I was trying not to cry from embarrassment, trying not to scream out of frustration, and partly because my daughter was so gosh-darn loud!
I will spare you all the details of how the actual checkout went but we'll just say it was more of the same. When we got out of the store and into the parking lot, I had to pick her up and put her in the cart for safety reasons and she purposely and defiantly HIT ME! This was a first and - I'm hoping by the punishment I dished out - the last time she will hit. I got her safely secured in her carseat and explained that when we got home, I would be putting all of her stuffed animals into a garbage bag and she would not play with them for a full day. This clearly cut her to the core and was the worst possible punishment imaginable. She pleaded for me to punish her some other way which was both heartbreaking but also strangely calming to know that I was regaining some control over the situation.
About 15 minutes later, all of her "friends" were put away in a big bag until they can be released in a couple days (she earned them another day in solitary by throwing her shoe). When she eventually settled down, I sat down with her to talk. She is pretty articulate and was able to tell me why she got so upset. When I called her out on the hitting, I said, "I think the reason that you hit me is because you were feeling a lot of emotions bubbling up inside of you and you didn't know how to get them out, is that right?" She looked at me with red, tear-stained cheeks and those big blue eyes and said, "Uh huh, I hit you because my lungs were trying to kill my emotions." It's funny because I know what she means by that...mostly.
Heavy sigh. It has been a rough night but we made up and got lots of snuggles in before she went to bed. I feel confident in the parenting decision I made with the consequences I'm enforcing and hope this will head off - at least some - appearances of the HAFs for a little while. Parenting is not always fun but it sure is worth it.
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